Words That Fade Into The Silence
by Vesperum
Summary: He found it painfully ironic that tonight was a new moon. 423 spoilers. Ficlet collection.
1. tired

423 tore at my heart.

But I don't worry. There is no way Kubo could end a series without some sort of resolution.

* * *

He found it painfully ironic that tonight was a new moon.

It was quiet in his house, for once. Yuzu hadn't told him to come down to eat his dinner, and Goat-Chin hadn't said a word to him all day. He liked it this way. He didn't want to fake anything right now. His emotions were raw, and no amount of consoling from anyone would help.

Ichigo was tired. He was tired of having to play the hero, tired of having to give up what he wanted_needed_ to have. He was tired of being selfless.

He was tired of unconsciously trying to find _her_, and he was tired of the repeated bitter realization that he couldn't find her. He would never find her.

He left his window open that night, despite the bitter cold.


	2. sometimes

Okay, so someone requested that I write a second chapter, and I thought "_why the hell not."_

_

* * *

_

It occurred to him some time later that she could wear a gigai, if she really wanted to see him.

But he wouldn't want to see her like that. He wanted their next meeting to be one both could remember with happiness, not with promises neither could keep.

"Sometimes I wish you would borrow a gigai from Urahara and come visit me." He said into the silence.

He never expected a reply, but the silence that pounded on his eardrums was worse torture than when he had to say goodbye.


	3. almost

People want more? sureynot. and this might as well be called a story now, not just little ficlets meshed together.

* * *

He hated the feeling of having forgotten something. More, the feeling that he couldn't remember, but yet, he _could_.

It was something. Something real, something was here, had done _something_, and Ichigo knew the answer was staring him right in the face.

If Rukia were here, she would have kicked him already and-

Ichigo froze.

_he had forgotten Rukia he had forgotten Rukia he had forgotten Rukia he had forgotten Rukia he had forgotten Rukia. _


	4. willpower

IF YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT KISUKE SAID IN THE LAST LINE, REVIEW/PM/CONTACT ME & I WILL TELL YOU.

because I'm not really sure if I was clear/obscure enough -.-;

* * *

Urahara looked up from Yoruichi on his lap.

"Kurosaki-san?"

* * *

"It's only natural that you would begin to forget about Ru—" Urahara hissed in pain as Yoruichi sunk her claws into his leg.

"But…that's not to say that it's inevitable _to_ forget about her either," he amended, glaring at the door where the feline had just disappeared through.

"How am I meant to remember her, Urahara-san?" Ichigo asked, trying not to let his desperation sink through. "Write letters I'll never be able to send?"

Urahara smiled sadly. "Your memories are your strongest link to her, Kurosaki-san. Whether you want to put yourself through the pain of _having_ to remember, is up to you."

With that, Urahara stood up and brushed his clothes of any dust.

"Please don't do anything stupid, Kurosaki-san. Believe me, I've tried."


	5. wish

nanowrimo helped me with this story a lot :D. the cantaloupe bit came from an experience with a friend involving bubble tea. [bubble tea is delicious! I highly recommend it to everybody.]

* * *

It wasn't long before school arrived. Ichigo felt it had crept up far too quickly.

Everything was alright for a while. Up until lunch, Ichigo felt that maybe, just maybe (once upon a fairytale), he could actually get through the day without having to remember that she specifically liked apple juice boxes and avoided anything with the word _cantaloupe_ on it like the plague.

"So, Ichigo!" Keigo bounded up to him; as they sat down to eat their lunch. Ichigo grunted in return.

"Where's Rukia~chan? I haven't seen her all day! Is she sick?"

Ichigo swallowed. It hurt.

"…she's gone, Keigo."

And that was the end of that.


	6. archived

my exams are over now- thank goodness! i think there are five chapters left- including this one. i'm not entirely sure, haha. ichigo's last line is open to interpretation, so i'd love to hear your thoughts on it :).

* * *

"Y'know, I've been tempted to ask Sandal-Hat to pass on a message to you. Or Yoruichi. Or maybe neither. They'd make it sound like I miss you terribly, which I do _not_."

_I miss you so much that words cannot do it justice anymore._

"I know what you would say here." Ichigo laughed bitterly.

"You would spout some shit about how I need to grow up and get on with my life, and forget all about Soul Society because that's all in the past."

He hung his head.

"The next time I see you Rukia, I won't even recognize you."


	7. dawn

so i kinda forgot about this. heheh. blame it on my near-concussion :D.

* * *

He was talking to her when _she_ appeared out of nowhere.

"Are you trying to act like you're able to talk to ghosts?" the girl asked, clearly irritated.

Ichigo glared at her. She continued, apparently oblivious.

"Because there's no-one there. There's an old man at the end of the park, but he's rather anti-social, even for a ghost."

"For your information," Ichigo remarked dryly, "I know I'm talking to thin air. And that old man's just bitter because they got rid of the old playground, and that's where he first met his wife."

The girl blinked. Ichigo smirked. She hadn't been expecting that.

"I'm Asuka," the girl offered, sitting herself down next to him. "Tell me- what do you gain from speaking with this '_thin air_'?"


	8. illusion

Updates will actually happen now. It's my last week of school for this year, & everything has been a little hectic, haha.

* * *

Asuka was good company, Ichigo decided. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind, and she had the same obsession with Shakespeare.

She went to a private school in a prefecture different to Karakura— and hated it.

"Everyone judges you there," she complained one day, as they were walking through the city mall. "It's all based upon who your connections are, and _mine_—" she had to work her mouth around the last few words— "don't give a shit for me at all. Apart from _nii-san_, but he's so busy with work and keeping his p.a. focused on _his_ job that he doesn't have any time for _me_ right now."

Ichigo ruffled her hair slightly. "Whatever. At least you don't deal with a man who tries to kill you every morning of your life."

Asuka snorted. "Sometimes, I wish I could say that." She heaved a great sigh of fake nostalgia.

"I'll trade places anytime," Ichigo replied, glancing in a window displaying Chappy-the-Rabbit.

Asuka noticed where he was looking. "Does Yuzu-chan like Chappy-chan?"

"Hm? Ah..." Ichigo smiled. "She's partial to it."


	9. shatter

Holidays! I get to sit around watching cartoons all day now. Yay~!

* * *

He was playing foozeball with Tatsuki (whoever lost had to take the winner's cleaning duties for a week), Orihime quite torn between who she was cheering for and eventually decided that she'd take _both_ cleaning duties, much to their shock and refusal.

"Ichigo!"

He looked up— costing him dearly. Tatsuki automatically declared herself winner, and went to celebrate with Orihime.

Ichigo glared at Asuka. "You've just got me cleaning for an entire week."

"Oh, I'm _so_ **sorry**, Kurosaki-sama, _whatever_ can I **do** to repay you?" Asuka asked patronizingly, smiling wide.

"I have _A Midsummer Nights Dream_ for you," she explained, rummaging through her bag. "Thanks for letting me borrow it- it has my favourite quote in it."

"Which would be...?" asked Ichigo, receiving the book.

"_Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind_." she recited in English, smiling.

Ichigo's heart stopped.


	10. smoke&mirrors

Last chapter next week. I hope you guys don't bash on Asuka _too_ much ;D.

* * *

He didn't reply to her texts, or phones calls; told Yuzu to tell her that he was out. He didn't want her to see him like this, grieving over someone who was slowly disappearing from his life.

"No, I don't care anymore- he can't hide forever Yuzu-chan!" Asuka's voice was shrill and loud, echoing plainly through the Kurosaki household.

She stood in his doorway.

"Fuck. _You_." She stated, hands on hips, glaring at him with enough malice and disdain to put her at rival with Byakuya. He smiled slightly at that.

"Don't you smirk at me!" She continued. "You ignored me for a _fucking_ _month_- what the hell did I do wrong?"

"It's not you, Asuka- it's someone else, and-"

"So, you're going to _bitch_ and **sulk** because you can't see this _Rukia_ and you're just using me as a pseudo-her?" Asuka's face was contorted into a multitude of emotions.

"Arisawa and Inoue told me everything. You _loved_ her, Ichigo- still love her! Didn't Shakespeare teach you **anything**? _Urgh_!" She wrung her hands, clearly agitated.

"But fine; whatever. I don't care anymore. Deal without me, and just- just-" words failed her at this point. She sighed, exasperated, eyes glassy.

"Deal with this shit that you have over Rukia, and then maybe I can feel like I don't want to punch you in the face. _Please_."

And with that, Asuka Fumoto; strode out of Ichigo's room, and his life.


	11. and then the rain left off

Last chapter guys! I hope you've enjoyed this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it, and I wish you all a very happy New Year :D.

* * *

It was sixteen months now, he reckoned. Sixteen since Rukia had faded away like smoke in the sky, and a year since Asuka stormed from his room with the force of a hurricane. Why was it that all his relationships with women seemed to deteriorate?

Tatsuki had punched him the day after Asuka left, and hadn't spoken to him much since. He was in his summer holidays now, preparing for senior year. He didn't know what to do with his life. It was like he had stayed in a rut for the last year and a half. Perhaps he needed a change of scene.

Ichigo sighed softly; looking up to the Milky Way band that split the sky in two.

"I know that you're pissed off with me," he said, lips twitching upwards. "I promise that it's going to change. I've needed time to think, see, and I do believe that I've had sufficient time."

A smile crossed his face.

"Please, let's pray this won't be our last meeting."


End file.
